How Caitlyn C's It

Starting something new is scary.

I remember the first time I went to play golf, I was terrified of being judged and breaking etiquette rules. Starting a new hobby like golf is terrifying because of the fear of looking stupid, and sometimes the dominating demographic can be quite intimidating. I’ve found that being a woman, especially entering a new atmosphere that is predominately men, creates an entirely different barrier.

I reported and wrote a story for a class that sent us to Scotland. My story’s focus was women’s golf. I didn’t expect to find any outrageous stories of sexism, but I was incredibly disappointed to find that I did. Women were not allowed to golf or join clubs all the way up to the 21st century. They are discouraged, and young women find that they quit golf after their childhood due to an unequal ratio of boys to girls. As one of my sources told me, who the *beep* wants to spend four hours with a boy.

No way am I saying all men are the problem and men make golf hard to join – but I’m definitely not saying it’s not true. The number of times I’ve been explained the “rules” of golf and asked if I am playing is ridiculous. It’s even funnier when I know my handicap is far lower than the man asking me.

But if it weren’t for the barrier of being a woman in golf, I wouldn’t be the confident and self-started I am today (that doesn’t mean to continue to scare women away from male-dominated hobbies/activities). These lessons and experiences from starting an entirely new sport in my adult life have allowed me to confidently start new hobbies like fly fishing and international journalism.

I still get nervous around experts but don’t feel scared enough to turn away. If this is you, don’t feel alone, it took me way too long to get to this point, and luckily, it doesn’t need to take you that long.

Along the way, I’ve gathered tidbits of advice for women (or anyone) looking to start something new, whether male-dominated or not, confidently.

There is always someone to enjoy a hobby with; you just have to be open to new people.

I think a huge reason people quit things before they start is that their pre-existing friends – made from activities they have in common with you – don’t want to join. If you truly want to try something new, you must be open to new people.

I really wanted to get into international journalism, but all my friends are science majors. So going to Scotland with a class, I forced myself to open up to new people and formed new friendships with this new interest to bond us.

No matter what hobby you want to pick up, you just have to look for your people. This leads me to my next point.

No one is too old or too anything to get into something new.

Branching out to new people is both scary and hard. Sticking with your pre-existing friends is the easy route, but if you want to try something new that none of your friends do, you’re going to need to diversify your friends.

No one likes to have hobbies alone. While I love to golf alone and enjoy my peace, having company to enjoy a hobby is so much fun and actually helps you get better at that hobby. You learn from others and create precious memories related to hobbies you love.

It’s all about being open. I’m not saying to change your entire personality to make friends but put aside the parts that prohibit you from trying out something new and connecting with those people.

That means if you want to get into fishing but the idea of squirmy fish and camouflage makes you sick, try to get over it, but don’t lose yourself. You can still love your manicured nails and pink but still enjoy the hobby with your new friends.

Research the most you can.

I don’t know about you, but the better prepared I am, the better I feel. I like to run through every possible scenario before doing anything I’m unfamiliar with. This advice is great for interviewing journalism sources but especially for getting into something new.

Before I started golfing, I learned some rules, the layout of the course, some of the lingo and of course, the etiquette. You will by no means be an expert, nor should you be, but preparing yourself can help you feel like you’re not going into something blind.

Join a group, whether on social media or in a class.

No way in hell would I have hopped onto a golf course alone without guidance. I started golf through my high school team in eighth grade. But as I said, you don’t need to be in middle school to start something new.

To ease the intimidation, join a group. There are legit thousands of Facebook groups, and pretty much all of them are incredibly welcoming. I joined a Scottish women’s golf group for my story, and people are still inviting me to their homes to talk about golf. These groups also include open discussions about worries and discussions. You might just find that other women/people share your same fears and worries.

You can also check around online to see if anyone is hosting classes. Those could be all-women beginner golf lessons, art classes, book clubs, etc. If you feel nervous to join a group, something to remember is that these groups are legit made for people without a pre-existing community or existing experience in that hobby or skill. The classes are there for you; you only have to take them and open yourself up to new experiences and people.

Remember, 90% of people don’t care if you’re a newbie

This entire blog revolves around having fun in life and laughing. So I urge you to remember that there will be times when you start something new and you will be laughing at yourself internally.

It can seem like everyone is staring at you and laughing, but they’re really not. When I first started golfing and fishing, I felt like every move I made was being scrutinized by others, and I wanted to crawl into a hole. But looking back, there wasn’t a single time when people made me feel bad for being a beginner.

Nothing is more admirable than going beyond your comfort zone and trying something new.