How Caitlyn C's It

Instead of spending my Friday mornings hungover, zombie-walking to the Penn State Bagel Crust at 1 p.m., now I spend my Friday mornings hunched over my laptop chipping away at work. That’s post-grad life for you.

However, I did spend a lot of time hungover in college and I am one of those people that if I’m hungover, you’ll know. I wish I could send one of those Amber Alerts to tell the world I’m hungover; it makes me feel better.

Sadly, can’t do that. So instead the only cure for a Penn State hangover–which is extremely different than any other schools–is food. A Penn State hangover is not only special because State College parties at a different magnitude than any other school, but we have to do it in butt f*** Pennsylvania where the best food options are Moe’s or 60 cent wing Tuesday at Pman’s.

Not to say Penn State has bad food, but the hangover options make Sunday Scaries super freaking spooky. So for all you still in school (so jealous), here are my top five and most effective ways to cure your hangover so you can at least make it to your one Friday class.

Also I’m not a doctor so if these don’t work idk what to tell you. Don’t drink so much?

PSU Hangover Cure #1: Blueberry muffin from dunkin’ donuts

I will not be taking comments or critique for this one. The worst hangover I ever had happened to fall on the day of a French exam. I was running late and the only place I knew could give me food fast (obviously NOT Irving’s–if you know, you know) was Dunkin’.

The second the blueberry muffin hit my mouth, it was like chugging a gallon of water. The crystalized sugar mixed with the fruity, moist muffin cured my hangover in five minutes and guess what… I passed the test! Did I look like death doing it? Yes. But thanks to my blueberry muffin from the College Ave Dunkin’ Donuts, I didn’t feel like it.

PSU Hangover Cure #2: Bagel Crust Ham, Egg and Cheese on a Blueberry Bagel

Honestly, maybe it’s blueberry that is the magic potion here. But even though this is a classic, it’s a proven method to curb a hangover. This exact order is what got me through college and hopefully can get you through your rough morning after.

Bagel Crust is a controversial word at Penn State and even though I do love Irving’s, Bagel Crust puts something in their bagel–not sure what–that just does it for me. Also you don’t have to wait in a one hour line with families either, so that’s a plus in my book.

PSU Hangover Cure #3: Coffee and food from the naked egg cafe

The biggest hurdle here is getting to The Naked Egg Cafe without getting sick but once you’re there, all your hangover worries will melt away. Just one sip of their iced vanilla latte with almond milk, you will feel your stomach settling and your head un-pound itself.

Their food is equally good and comes in massive portions. You can always take some home for later or you can be a champ and eat it all there. The choice is yours.

PSU Hangover Cure #4: J-mike’s (Jersey mike’s)

You will also need to drive here since it’s off-campus, but it’s a consistent cure for me. No matter what you get, Jersey Mike’s bread alone is enough to make you forget how much you spent at Champs Thursday night and leave you with leftovers for dinner later. Even my bestie Isabella agrees and she has to eat the gluten-free bread 🤢.

PSU Hangover Cure #5: buffalo. chicken. dip.

This last one, but absolutely not least, was born on a very bad day for Caitlyn. The Penn State v.s. Indiana stripe out game junior year. I thought I wasn’t going to make it inside the stadium, but thanks to Alicia’s family buffalo chicken dip, I persevered.

I put this one last since it’s the hardest to obtain on any other day besides game day. But now you know what to reach for at the tailgate before the disgusting noon games us Penn Staters know all too well.

I’m dying to know what everyone at Penn State orders after a night out so please let me know what your favorite hangover cure is by tagging me on Instagram @caitlyngarrity or let me know if you try mine!